Close your eyes friend, sleep, meet me here beyond sight.

This is where I knew and grew through fear, anger, hope, and self.
This is where you must find in yourself to know your companion, once named Anuu.
This is the grey space only minds eye can reach.

This is the birthplace of dreams.

Years, moments, moon cycles, how long can one guage time spent in a world where it can not touch? Perhaps only by scars such suffering leaves in the forest of those I love around me. None knows better than those who love me, who tired for me when I wake troubled from these unconcious unwanted times. Such love is the roots of my strength, The Bright lady Mystra who gives movement to the world with her magic, my family, my guardian and guide dear vibrent Falahara.
The Elders were wise beyond wisdom to see my need of her. The little they could do in sparing her days to me has perhaps saved my sanity. (Though I ask you not share such words with her else she drive me crazy out of will alone!)

But I was speaking of the Old ones. They who could not help me cast me to the road so they would not have to wake every day to thier own failings in me. I did not dissapoint, only succeeded too clearly, painfully so. They could not percieve Mystra's gifts let alone heal with my understanding of them. So much was I given by the Bright Lady, so little we understood.
To keep me among them in inactivity would have destroyed what Anuu remains in me and so I travel now. At least this world I can feel and change...and perhaps fight.

At the very least I will live long enough to see an end of this cursed boat and my friends constant sea sickness!

Perhaps even long enough to reach the troubled one who haunts what little rest I hold too...
My suffering is nothing to what will come for him...
Mystra can not, I will not lose him to it... it's in his eyes, my reflection.

Nonsense! Utter complete and total Nonsense!

Well utter, complete, and amusing nonsense at the very least,
but completely besides the point I was getting too.

Never agian will I travel in the company of human men or partially human men and the fuzzy things they carry with them.
Why must Mystra guide me too such trials?

Not that I'm complaining mind you!

(I'm still alive at the very least which is more than I can say for the her poor servent in Tilverton. May Mystra bless him the memory of those who knew him.)

Besides good has come from this meeting of sorts, at least our reputation shadowed thief snores
HEAVILY
so I have been unable to sleep let alone dream of late.
Besides the night lights our charge creates to accompany Xon are nausiating at thier best.

I only hope my beloved Elminster is not cursed with the stupidity accosting the rest of his gender and race. Not that I will ever know, but I care not, I have a lifetime to lust.
Mystra knows I will never tell him and if she ever did I would quit her service and abandon my charge once and for all!

In all my dreams I never expected such a child in my protection. Auron is talented but so unlearned. Better than that Xon fellow who seems to know too much and exactly how to use it to suit himself.

Agian my mindseye wanders to Auron, it is so hard to trust myself and my lifespath to the boy with the eyes I dream of. But I could not bear to see one so young come to pain. I will humor him and his "entertainment," if nothing more than to hear the words his songs evoke and better use the knowlage to help us. Though I grow weary of what he calls magic. Mystra! Did he learn nothing of his wizard school? Will he learn nothing from my influence?

Oh, Falahara I meant not to startle you. Come back to the warm embers and I will take the watch for you.

How I miss our placid forest Fal, I am so sorry to bring you so far from it for such strange company. Rest while I take watch, tonight I am too troubled to study my spells. Instead I will rest my mind in our protection.

No, friend, your snores are soft not vulgar like his, worry not another thought about it!
Just rest yourself.

May Mystra Guide you to dreams in worlds without boats.

Among Mystra's blessings in my life Scrying is not one of them. Though her whispers linger in my memory "Clear your mind to see beyond the water," It's still not happening.
Try as I might, no Elminster.
Damn.
Sometimes in the shimmer of the water I can make out an old man, as he may still be, but surely not the teacher of legend I have loved through the stories of my Goddess. Mystra you know him well.
I was so lonely during those many painful years, his stories stayed with me like a good friend. When these travels began I had hopes of the roads, that the my childhood friendship was out there waiting for us. Sillyness! If he even lives such a man would have his own roads to journey.
But, after one hundred and twenty four years I'm unable to let go of an imaginary friend, perhaps an imaginary legend.
I think my mind may have been broken out here in the frozen wasteland.

I already know that today my heart was.

Some friends I need not seek in the scrying pool, thankfully. They are healing in each others arms beside me in this cave. I wonder if they realize how close they hold together in sleep, Xon and my fair Fallahara. (Though how can she sleep close to such snoring?!)

It's true then that they have loved, at least 'lahara no longer evades my questions. Granted, it has taken weeks in the cold blasts and battles to speak about it, but then agian, she has always been my match in stubborness.
But, Xon's match?
It was as difficult for me to see why she would choose him as it is for me to draw images out of the scrying pool, before today.
It's true that Xon is trouble marked, self-motivated, thieving, egotistical, disgustingly flirtatious, cowardly...and...AND WELL TOo many other things to name.
He also cares for 'lahara more than himself, which is more of an honor then he has paid to any being I have seen yet in our journeys by his side.

I keep seeing them in my mind as they were in battle.

The mountian side was burning death for the orcs that had tried to overtake us and this pass. The Ogre. That massive mountian of smelly fury stood agianst Falahara without notice of the flames. Mystra's words couldn't command him down. But, Falahara fought with all her rage and strength, as did he. Blow for blow they unleashed at each other. Xon couldn't bear to see her fall. He charged the path of fire too her and the Ogre, taking the beast to death in his haste. The fiendish Ogre plummited to his final resting place upon the scorched mountian. But, not upon my elven lady who dodged his final fall and collapsed into her lovers arms.

One thing Xon has is timing.

All that I could do was heal thier wounds and ward this cave so that we would mend for tomorrow.
So they sleep. And I contemplate thier future together, our future together. That I can not see in the glassy scying pool.

But, seeing Auhron and the others in the waters gave me hope. Hope enough that our wandering will lead us to them agian. Hope that we will be strong enough to protect him from Shar's darkness. Hope that we will at least be at his side to try. And that is enough to still these tears of mine that fall into this sacred scrying pool, giving our current sorrow to better the sight of others.

My mind is clear as the water now and what I see is the friends I have who lay just beyond it's edge. Mystra only knows what we will see together... tomorrow.

That Bloody bitch! Mystra please grant me her name one day too better curse agianst the shadow weave! Not only did this horrible woman encroach upon my sanity with her dark dream magic in the day but to abduct my friends as well for her ridicuous nighttime threats?! I could just JUST JJJUSSTTT FLAY HER. Or at the very least bruise her into tenderness with my mace, throw her into a scalding stew, and feed her to the gnashing teeth of the sinister and starving monsters that accompany her!

How fortunate Mystra is not without humor else I would so easily lose myself to Shar's nightmares and my own murderous thoughts. To think that blackhearted wench was forced to endure masses of Mystra's Sweetest desserts clinging to her holy robes! What fun to be found in such a hell as were in! That leads to stranger thoughts, where were we anyway? Better not to explore the dark places of the planes even in memory, it is after all nowhere I wish to ever see agian awake or otherwise.

But, I fear for the others well being.

That they for even a brief time were forced to experiance such ill will interrupting what little rest we can muster in the middle of a hopeless battle. To see Xon's self-confidence shaken was more unnerving then any conflict. It's not his rejection of the valuable amulet that concerns me... if he continue's to ignore words of flattery and vanity in the morning I will know that his mind is sicker than it has ever been. And for all my curing I have yet to find a way to dispell his unnaturally perverse ego.

Mystra protect me please from attempting THAT burden, with the strength of his human passions who knows the damage trying to repair his libido could inflict upon me!

Xon will recover from the dark dreams with the coming dawn I hope, besides we have larger concerns, I may even say giant ones.

The ages shield, the amulet of a race of Giants. From what we have gone through and what is surely to come...let it at least be worth losing tonights sleep over...zzz....