I cannot ignore what has happened between Xon and myself, nor would I want to. I am not ashamed.

I have once again opened my heart to Annu, who forever has been my guide through life. When I talk with her, I know she understands me better than I do. Rillifane, Mystra, why am I so blessed? With each time I look at her, I see strength. If only my faith were as unwavering.

God, I was so lost without her... When she left with only a note behind, I thought it would be all right, that I could be strong and carry on our mission. All the while not daring to allow myself to think about the fear that she would not return. I will never lose her again, I will not allow it.

I was foolish to think of not confiding in her from the start. My feelings for this human, Xon are so very jumbled. Why am I so confused? This is so unlike me. I have not been myself, or perhaps I have, I seem to hardly know myself anymore.

I know I am friend and guardian to my dear Annu. I have always defined myself this way, and I believe I always will.

But now what about this Xon? Before leaving Chandlewood, I could never have understood this type of friendship. Indeed, Aurhon's very existence was a mystery to me, but I know it now, those sorts of boundaries have nothing to do with love.